but somewhere in me, there is strength

might be hard to accept.

but I do believe it is much harder for the apologetic.

because, sometimes, their apologies aren’t accepted. no matter how sincere they are. no matter how much their heart aches at their wrongdoings. no matter how much they cry outwardly or tear apart inside. 

because when they open their mouth to apologize, the offended sometimes thinks of it as a means of escape for the apologetic. but really…

I mean nothing more than my deepest apologies, but you can’t see that.

for some reason…when girls bring up the word “mature”

…

they’re actually being quite immature 90% of the time.

You want to run but

There’s nowhere to go

You’re tied down but

They have the means to go

Shut the door but

There’s no lock

Watch this clock

Tick tick tick away

And maybe morning

Might help you forget

This night of regrets

But the darkness

Has just begun

The sun

Won’t come for a while

Leaving you waiting in agony

With your vile

Soul.

every night, I’m dreaming of frantically trying to study for my finals, encountering obstacles that I know will prevent me from studying efficiently, understanding that I bombed them all in real life.

every night, I’m dreaming of school and doing miserably.

I’m dreaming of trying to get a job over summer school and I can’t find one.

even the night I stayed up watching some dumb movie called transit where a family takes refuge in the everglades and alligators roam among them…I did not dream of alligators. I dreamed of school.

sigh. summer break…where art thou?

what my schedule looked like yesterday:

watched shows all day.

proceeded to clean the house.

did laundry while folding clothes and vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom in between loads. all at the same time. teehee i feel like…superman.

did dishes. I am now pro. I’ll replace any dishwasher any day.

cooked up some 김치 볶음밥 for dinner.

so I’m starting to get a hang of the ajumma life style.

Wind the key

To the music box

And the tiny dancer will twirl

To the melody.

Of course

She can’t hear

(she’s just a toy)

But as soon as the song ends

On cue, fini.

I’ve realized that it’s not fear that God did not hear me.

It’s fear that I did not hear Him.

but what was left is all tumbling down

down

down

d

o

w

n

.

I don’t even 

recall

having asked You to really break me..

and yet here I am at the bottom

of the fall.

oh, will you now take me

out of this mess because I gave

my all..

or so I thought. please don’t forsake me.

ha…my legs too weak, my arms too feeble

to even crawl

won’t you shake me, awake me

from this nightmare?

my kids :(

if I was wendy from peter pan..they’d all be my lost boys. korova love

no wonder everyone thought I was crazy when I said I pulled 5 all nighters in a row my first year….

man…my life has never been the same.

staying up is like…a death sentence.

can’t even pull 2 all-nighters without crashing like crazy….

shoot.

can’t even pull 1 -__-